BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

DESTRESS YOURSELF BY BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Hello my friend.  How's your week so far?  Hope you read my last post and are increasing your Positive Attitude. 

Today, I wanna talk a lil bout believing in yourself.  What does believing in yourself have to do with destressing yourself?  Excellent question!

Stress is caused by our doubt, fear, and worry.  If we believe in ourselves, and others, our doubt, fear, and worry will turn into certainty, confidence, and faith.  When we live with thoughts of certainty, confidence, and faith, we truly destress ourselves.

Believing in yourself, and others, is just a matter of being honest with yourself.  If you search the evidence, you will find you are very successful thus far in your life.  Therefore, you have great reason to be honest with yourself and have faith in yourself.

"Be honest with yourself, with others, and with your Heavenly Father. One who was not honest with God until it was too late was Cardinal Wolsey who, according to Shakespeare, spent a long life in service to three sovereigns and enjoyed wealth and power. Finally, he was shorn of his power and possessions by an impatient king. Cardinal Wolsey cried:

Had I but served my God with half the zeal

I served my king, He would not in mine age

Have left me naked to mine enemies.

Thomas Fuller, an English churchman and historian who lived in the 17th century, penned this truth: “He does not believe that does not live according to his belief.”

Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities.

You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith." ~Taken from Thomas S. Monson's message, Living the Abundant Life  

When we believe in ourselves we have faith, and we eliminate the doubt, which is a stress inducer fo sho!

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." ~Hebrew 11:1

"For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith" ~Galatians 5:5

"But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation." ~1 Thessalonians 5:8

Just a few more things you can think about to destress yourself.

Enjoy the rest of your week!!!

Have fun!  Be playful

Love you lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

;0)

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

DESTRESS YOURSELF WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Hello...

Today, I wanna talk a lil bout how we can destress with a positive attitude.  When we have a positive attitude, we feel better about ourselves, and when we feel better about ourselves, we feel peace, which is the opposite of stress.

When someone comes to me to learn how to destress for the first time, many times they say they have a positive attitude.  Often times, what that means to them is when they are in front of someone, or they are having a conversation, they appear positive.  Meaning, they are happy and not sad, they are grateful and not complaining, or they are pleasant and not unpleasant.

If we truly have a positive attitude, we have peace within because we are having positive thoughts, which create positive feelings, and that promotes positive actions.  Your thoughts, feelings, and actions are your attitude.

"William James, a pioneering American psychologist and philosopher, wrote, “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment.

Charles Swindoll—author, educator, and Christian pastor—said: “Attitude, to me, is more important than … the past, … than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.”

We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude." ~Taken from Thomas S. Monson's message, Living the Abundant Life

My favorite part of this quoted message is, "We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."  Isn't that brilliant?  We cannot direct the wind, meaning we cannot control the misfortune, but we can adjust the sails, in other words our attitude, our reaction to the misfortune.

A positive attitude gives us peace, the opposite of stress.

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." ~Romans 8:6

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith," ~Galatians 5:22

"Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another." ~Romans 14:19

"Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you." ~2 Corinthians 13:11

Somethings to think about so you can destress yourself.

Have a super duper week!!!

Have fun!  Be playful

Love you lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the course

;0)

STRESS

Never was I able to measure the level of stress, or even gauge the level of stress, that has been among others until I started blogging.  My blogging began in 2006, and then seriously in 2007.  It wasn't until 2009 that I was able to measure how many visitors I had in a day, week, or month.  The measurements were only monthly before then.

 

All this babbling is about stress out there in the world.  What I mean is, in the summer of 2009, I had about 500 to 600 readers a month.  In the winter the readers more than doubled, and that just so happens to be my busiest time of the year, destressing people.  By 2010 summer, I had in a week, what I had in followers in a month from 2009 winter.  In the 2010 winter, it doubled, then went back down by the end of April. 

 

By 2011, in the summer, my visitors doubled to what I was experiencing in the busy months of the winter, and the emails doubled as well.  By the winter of 2011, I was experiencing crazy, crazy amounts of readers daily. 

 

What I am trying to explain in all of this blah blah is, I believe because of the number of visitors, and contacts I am experiencing, stress is increasing out there in the world.  For a minute there, I thought things were getting better, over the holidays, because my stats dropped from December 24, 2011 to January 2, 2012, to what was high stats in the 2011 summer.  But, by January 8, 2012, things got back to all time highs again.

 

By January 14, 2012, my post How To Destress Your Deepest Moments of Despair, was viewed 1000 times.  What this means to me is, there are plenty of people out there in their deepest moments of despair.

 

There was a time when I responded to Critical Incidents, and taught stress prevention, intervention, and direction only to the Emergency Personnel, which included EMT's, Firefighters, Paramedics, and Police Officers.  Then it expanded to Management and Administrators. 

 

I can remember my first one on one clients that were not in the Emergency Field, they included men, who were business owners.  Many of them were sent to me by their wives, and the common reaction was, "My wife sent me to see you because if I don't get a handle on my stress then she will divorce me."  No lie!

 

Then I started teaching all kinds of individuals stress relief.

 

Most recently, my contacts have been people who have lost their jobs, homes, and sometimes everything they have, and sometimes even a family member.

 

When October & November 2011 came around, I had an unusual amount of teenagers come to me due to pressures usually at home, but not entirely. 

 

Is the economy in America getting better?  Is the economy in the World getting better?  That is hard to say, but from my stand point, a whole lotta people are trying to relieve stress, that's fo sho!

 

This time of the year is the best time for you, and me, to relieve our stress because it is the New Year, and we can be motivated to start a new.

 

When people are stressed, it is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about their circumstances.  When people are really stressed, they tend to focus on the worst possible outcome.  They think about the worst thing that could happen, over and over, in their mind.  This causes a whole lotta stress.

 

One of the best things we can do, when we think about the worst over and over again, is write down what we want, what we really want.  Write down the best possible outcome you could have in your situation, make them goals, and focus on them.  Focus on them by reading your written list everyday, and making a to do list to move forward on it.  This will destress you by building faith in yourself, and making you focus on the best instead of worst.

 

Another great thing we can do is learn the relaxation response.  The relaxation response will provide a way for you to create a habit of relaxing any time, and any where.  It is a habit we can develop to replace the stress habit.  When we are stressed, the stress response is activated, and if we have a wonderful habit of activating the relaxation response it can, and will, provide a place, in our mind and body, to feel safe and relaxed.

 

If we focus on the best possible outcome, and remain relaxed, the burden of our stress is lightened and we can easily overcome our stress, no matter what we are going through.

 

A great affirmation for when you have stress, you are focusing on the best outcome, and you practice the relaxation response is, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." ~Philippians 4:13

 

Affirmations are just reminders, and this reminder, if you say it to yourself over and over again, will build your faith, and help you succeed.  So memorize it, and say it often, especially when you feel stressed.

 

That's all I got.  You are doing great!  Keep up the excellent work!  Have fun!  Be playful!

 

Love you lots ;0)

 

BIG HUGS...

 

Elizabeth

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

 

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

 

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

 

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

 

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

 

;0)

MY OWN STANDARDS

Hello there.  How's it going?  Did you have a most magnificent weekend?  I sho did ;0)  Once again, I fell in love.  Matter of fact, I fell in love a few times.  Dang, I love that, falling in love.  I love love.  Okay, okay, enough about love, again, but you know I can't help it.

 

Got a scripture for you.

 

Matthew 7:3 says, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beem in thine own eye?"

 

This scripture means, to me, why are you judging, or trying to fix someone else when you could be judged for what you do, or when you got a whole lotta fixen to do in yourself?

 

Mote means a chip or splinter, and a beem is something big that they use in constructing a house or building.  Therefore, whatever you are judging in someone else is much smaller than what you could be judged for.

 

This, my friend is great advice.  Whenever I feel like I want to give someone advice (like in my blog for instance), I know there are at least two things going on for me.  First, I am looking at what I think needs to be fixed in someone else, meaning I am being critical.  Second, I need to give that advice to myself, which means, living up to my own standards.  Practice what I preach!  You know what I mean?

 

When I want to fix someone else, I am looking at their imperfection, rather than looking at their assets.  "Guess what?" I say to myself, "We are all imperfect Elizabeth." 

 

A very stressful habit is focusing on peoples' imperfections.  It is a habit of being critical, when we could just as easily be complimenting.  If we are critical, it shows the mood of our mind.  If the mood of our mind is critical of others, you can bet it is critical of ourselves.  When we are critical of ourselves, we tend to have a very low self-confidence which produces doubt.  Any kind of doubt, fear, or worry will create stress.

 

You know, and I know, we can be our own worst enemies by being critical of, or having doubt in ourselves.  All the decisions we make in this life are based on doubt or certainty.  If we make decisions based on doubt, we miss out on some seriously spectacular goods.  If we make decisions on certainty, we achieve, advance, gain, and obtain.

 

How did being critical become a habit?  Well, I'll tell you.  Most likely, when we were younger, and as we grew up, we could have done a thousand things right all day long with not a word said, and yet, when we did one thing wrong, we were criticized, and then corrected.  So, other peoples' habits became ours.

 

The best thing I can do, when I write a blog post, or help an individual is, take my own advice, and live up to my own standards. 

 

Do I take my own advice?  I sho do!  Eh-em, most of the time.

 

Do I live up to my own standards?  I sho do try, but like I say, to myself, "Nobody is perfect Elizabeth."

 

One of the things I love to do the mostest is, I love, love, love to encourage people.  Even though I am a Destress Yourself Specialist, I would love my title to be a Courage Specialist.  And because I love to encourage others, I spend a lot of time encouraging myself.  I am my own cheerleader. 

 

"You can do it Elizabeth!"  I say to myself. 

 

Encouraging and complimenting others is much better than criticizing or trying to fix them.  Taking my own advice, that I want to give to others, and encouraging myself is much better than criticizing.  Truly, just a simple choice, don't you think?

 

This week, and if I am brave enough, for the weeks to come, I will live up to my own standards by taking my own advice.  Whatever advice I am about to give, I will hush up and give it to myself, in my head of course.  I will focus on peoples' abundance and I will compliment and encourage them.  I will look at my abundance, and I will compliment and encourage myself more.

 

Sounds like a great way to destress myself, wouldn't you agree?

 

Hope you have a glorious week.  You can do it!  LOL!  You are glorious! 

 

How am I doing so far?

 

Have fun!  Be playful!  And, speak soon!

 

Elizabeth

 

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.  Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

 

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

 

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

 

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

 

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

 

:D

HOW TO DESTRESS ;)

Hello...

One of the most popular search phrases for my web site is 'how to destress' and so, I thought I would write just a little bit about how to destress ;)

CLICK THE PIC, TAKE THE CLASS ;)

Got several questions for you ;)

Do you believe in God? 

I mean, really, deep down in your heart, believe in God?

Do you believe that He is there for you and answers your prayers?

Do you have faith?  Faith that He is in control and will take care of you?

Man oh man, I wish I was a Scriptorian because I know there are plenty of scriptures that tell us to believe, that He will answer our prayers, to have faith, that He is in control, and He will take care of you.

When I was a young, single mother, I use to struggle, I mean really struggle with money.  When my son was around 8 years old, I had barely any money to survive, and I happen to be struggling with a lil PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

I was literally having anxiety attacks and crying with depression, all the time.  My stress level was so high my blood sugar was dropping as low as 35 (80 to 120 is normal).

It was a long, long time ago but a very desperate time for me.

The reason I am telling you this is because, in the most desperate of times we need to know how to destress.

What got me through all of that, and much much more, is my faith in God and that He would, and will, always take care of me.

What I use to do, and still do sometimes, is every night I would get down on my knees, put my forehead on my folded arms on my bed, and I would imagine that I had my arms and forehead on His lap, like He was right there, listening, and supporting me.  It may sound crazy, but it totally worked. 

One thing I know about my faith in God is that it is REAL!!!  It is not the superficial FAITH, HOPE, AND CHARITY, only when I am at church, or when I can serve conveniently.  It is REAL!!!

My greatest teacher is God, and my next greatest teacher is stress.  Believe you/me, I have had some serious stress in my life and I know that I live a destressed life because of it, no matter what is happening.  Sure, I get stressed, but it is a fraction of what it has ever been because I learned how to deal with it through my faith and relationship with God.

So, how so you destress yourself?  If you REALLY, TRULY believe, then turn to Him!  Try the prayer with your arms and head on His lap.  He is listening, He answers your prayers, He is close, He loves you, and He is there for you.

If you are really having a hard time and you REALLY BELIEVE, then try this.  Spend one day with Him, sitting, walking, and talking to Him like He is by your side.  Just use your imagination, this once, and you will see what happens to your faith in Him, in life, and in yourself.

But please, please, please don't believe me, try it for yourself.

That's all I got...

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth

DO YOU QUIET YOUR MIND?

Hello there, Happy Monday!!!

 

How are you doing today, this lovely Monday?

 

I hope you are doing GRRREAT!  Life is GRRREAT!  Isn't it?

 

Got a question!  Do you quiet your mind?

 

What I am asking is do you meditate or do you practice deep relaxation?

 

What does it mean to quiet your mind?  It means to stop the obsessive thinking of thoughts of worry about the future or regrets about the past.  It means to stop thinking and take your focused mind out of your thoughts and into this moment.

 

Why would you quiet your mind?  The reason I quiet my mind is so that I can be still and know God.  I have always known that God is in the stillness of my thoughts.  That is a Big statement and it is really hard to explain.  It is something that you would know and understand if you quieted your mind.

 

Let me try to explain, just a little better.  When you worry about your bills, or your weight, or your relationships, or your future, that is not God speaking to you.  God is not worry, God is in your faith.  "Be still and know that I am God."  "Have faith."  Are the things that I am trying to explain.

 

When you are obsessing about your relationship with your significant other, or your crazy boss, or the person at work that is mean to you, or the person at school who had the nerve to say certain things to you, or about your kids and their behavior, that is not God speaking to you. 

 

When you are quiet, in the stillness, you can and will hear that still small voice that God speaks from.

 

When I meditate, better known as quieting my mind, I know that is where God is, in my mind, I mean.  I am not saying that is the only place God is because He is everywhere.  What I am saying is you can see, hear, smell, and just notice the beauty in things, and in yourself, when you quiet your mind often. 

 

That beauty is where you can see God.  The beauty of His creations.

 

If you have doubt, fear, worry, or you have obsessive thoughts that you think over and over again, hour after hour, day, after day, you will benefit from quieting your mind.  These obsessive thoughts that you are having stem from a stressful habit of a racing mind or an obsessive thought pattern. 

 

If you quiet your mind you can replace that stressful habit of obsessive thinking with a successful practice.

 

It's all about destressing yourself!  Quiet your mind, make it a practice, and then wallah!  You will replace your stressful habit.

 

Easy?  Maybe, maybe not.  It's all in your beliefs.  I have seen people change slowly, over time, and I have seen people change in an hour. 

 

Try my audio, Deep Relaxation.  Listen to it every evening, before you go to bed, and then just notice your ability to relax.  Notice your ability to relax any time and any where.  Make it a conscious change and you will see the beauty in the moment without your over active mind.

 

But please, don't believe me.  Try it for yourself.

 

That's all I got friend!

 

Have a great week and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

 

BIG HUGS...

 

Elizabeth

SPEAKING THE WORDS OF DESTRESSING YOURSELF!!!

Hello my friend ;)

How's life?  Great I hope ;)

So, I am at this cafe I frequent and I am talking to the gal that works the register and I ask her, "How's life?"

She says she is stressed.  Can you believe that?  LOL!!!

She goes on and on about how she is overwhelmed, she is taking 17 units in school, and she has to pay bills.

It takes every ounce of my energy to NOT speak the words of destressing yourself and I didn't :(

Why don't I?  Well, I use to all the time, to everybody, because I want to tell everyone that stress is just a thought but most people don't wanna listen.  That is totally fine!

There are so many people who are anxious, angry, depressed, fatigued, moody, and unhappy and no matter what I say they want to defend their unnecessary emotion.

Oh sure, sometimes I tell people what I do and tell'em if they want help, for free, to check out my blog.  I give them a business card and often they become my clients but I can't save those who do not want help.

What I want to say is...

Your stress, my friend, is just a thought.  You are probably thinking of all the bad things that will happen to you because you believe you are so overwhelmed and those thoughts create fear and anxiety. 

I want to ask...

Have you ever went through a really tough time or had an experience that had you thinking that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me?

What happened?  Did you survive?  Of course you did because you are still here and you are still standing.

What if you were to think, no matter what happens, I can handle it? 

What would be the best thing that could happen to you, right now?

What if you were to think thoughts of faith, in yourself, and thoughts that the best thing that you think can happen will?

Do you believe in God?

Do you, deep down in your heart believe in God and that He will do what He says He will, in the bible?

Do you believe His words when He says 'have faith'?

What I want to say is...

Have faith my friend. 

Have faith in God and that He will take care of you. 

Have faith in yourself and that you can handle it. 

Take your thoughts of doubt and turn them into faith. 

No matter what happens, you will be fine. 

Quiet your mind and think and feel this truth.

There is a lot more of that where that came from ;) TRUST ME

I hope you have a great weekend and feel the truth of faith in God and yourself. 

If you truly believe 'WITH GOD ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE' you must contemplate and feel this truth so that it will fill your entire being.

When you do, you will feel your way into destressing yourself.

Speak soon...

Don't forget!  Please have fun and be playful!

Big ole hugs to ya...

Elizabeth

LEARNING TO DESTRESS!!!

Hey!  Hi!  Happy Monday!  I love Mondays!  Actually, I love every days!

 

I am so happy you are here.  You are here because you are learning to destress yourself, or just because you like me ;) 

 

So, did you notice if you are or when you are in a hurry?  Did you notice if it is a habit of yours?  Did you slow down?  Dang, I was totally in a hurry the next day after I wrote the post, CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN?  I was thinking to myself, if my blog readers could see me now they would definitely remind me of my own words.  I did catch myself and I did slow down, he he he.

 

Sooo, let's talk!

 

What in the heck does it mean to destress yourself?

 

Many of you have heard me explain this before, over and over again, and here we go again, lol.

 

When you destress yourself you evolve your mind, your thoughts, your behavior, your attitude, and your actions so that you live with confidence, faith, and security. 

 

Confidence in yourself, life, and others. 

 

Faith that all things are working for you and that your life is perfect as it is. 

 

Security knowing that anything you go through, no matter what, you can handle it.

 

If we listed the opposite of all these points it would look like this

 

Doubt in yourself, life, and others.

 

Fear that all things are working against you and that your life is the worst.

 

Worry that whatever you go through, no matter what, you cannot handle it.

 

All of this creates stress.  This thought process is what stress is. 

 

You have a choice really!  You can think thoughts of stress or you can destress yourself.

 

The thing is, this stressful way of thinking has been ingrained in you for however long you have been living.

 

Learn how to destress yourself by choosing the way of confidence, faith, and security.  You don't have to have doubt, fear, or worry.  They are just thoughts you know?

 

Learning to destress yourself is so important because it will create happiness, energy, and vitality for you.

 

Learning to destress yourself is so important because it will eliminate unhealthy emotional, mental, and physical conditions.

 

Try my audio, How To Destress Yourself, so that you can live with happiness, energy, and vitality. 

 

But PLEASE, don't believe me, find out for yourself.

 

Have a great weekend and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

 

Speak soon...

 

Elizabeth

 

CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN???

Hey hey!  How are you?  I am absolutely fantabulous. 

Just wanted to talk a little about the stressful habit of always being in a hurry.  When I am in the city (because I live in the boonies) I notice that quite a few people are in a hurry and they act like someone is gonna die if they don't get a move on.  YIKES!

 

Being in a hurry is very very dangerous because horrible things happen when we are in a rush (or drunk...  I don't know where that came from, lol) and so we can prevent a lot of mishaps by slowing down a little bit. 

 

I remember a few years back we were going to have a bar-b-q and my friend got a call from the hospital that his Dad was in an accident.  It was a bit scary, so I was trying to hurry and I dropped a big bag of ice on my toe and broke my toe.  I looked up into the sky and said, "thank you Lord."  I did this because at age 39, I knew, and know, that when something like that happens the Lord is telling me to slow down.

 

Please please please, don't wait for something to happen to you because you are in a hurry when you can create tons of prevention just by slowing down.

 

Just notice if you have a state of being in a hurry.  Maybe in the morning you are always in a hurry, or when you have to pick your kids up, or on the way to work.  Just notice it, and if it is so, slow your bootay down.

 

I know that it is not necessary to be in a hurry, it is just a habit really, especially for city folks.  It's called impatience. 

 

Can you please slow down?  Just wondering...

 

Have a great day and don't forget...

 

Have fun and be playful.

 

HUGS

 

Speak soon...

 

Elizabeth

A NEW EARTH

NEW BOOK FOR THE BIBLIOTHERAPY! A NEW EARTH

The Power Of Now was a strong influence on my thought process so I thought I would read A NEW EARTH.  I have read this one before but I thought that it would be a good read after reading THE POWER OF NOW by the same author Eckhart Tolle. 

I just started to read it.  The last time I read it, when Oprah was doing a special on it, I marked the book all up with my pink high lighter.  This time around I am finding that I am interested in different points the book is making.  This is very interesting to me because it indicates that I have made a shift, a cognitive shift, since I read it last.

Let me know what you think!!!

Have a super duper day!

Elizabeth

DESTRESS YOUR ANGER ;)

Hello there!  How are you this beautiful Monday?  Dang!  I feel so lucky to live in Cali.  We have beautiful blue skies and the temp is a lovely 62 deez greez.  A lil cool for us Californians.

Okay, enough of the bragging, huh?

Today, I wanna talk about destressing your anger. 

Anger is a very stressful habit.  Yuppers, it's a habit.  I would even go as far as to say that it is an addiction, a very contagious addiction.  What I mean by addiction is that it is something that is a negative influence and you cannot quit it.  What I mean by contagious addiction is that an angry environment, like a work place, can create and increase other peoples anger.  For example, a fire house, or an emergency room, or just being in an ambulance with an angry person.  Also, a corporate or office environment can generate anger in individuals.

There are a whole lotta people out there who are very angry.  Sometimes they don't even know they are angry.  Other times they think anger is okay.  But the worst of them all is they think anger is necessary.

ANGER IS UNNECESSARY!  AND GOING OFF IS NOT OKAY! 

Just in case you didn't know, it is not okay to go off on someone when you loose your temper.  Actually, it's not okay to go off on anyone.  It's quite ridiculous actually.  Have you ever seen someone loose it over something as if their life was threatened?  That is an illusion of anger.   

Not only is anger unnecessary, it is bad for you.

Any negative emotion creates unhealthy shifts in your body and releases bad hormones.  That is why people get sick.

BUT!  Anger just doesn't hurt you, it hurts the people around you and guess what?  If you are an angry one, people probably don't want to be around you.

So, what do you do if you are an angry one?  How do you destress yourself from anger?

I have no idea!  Just kidding.

Counting to ten is a good one, just kidding.

But seriously!

Like any addiction, you have to know that it is a problem, know that you can quit it, and then replace it with a successful practice.

Sounds pretty simple, but not easy.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, I worked on an ambulance with a very very angry person.  He was so angry that it radiated to me and I started to get angry.  This is way before I started researching and writing about stress relief. 

Thank goodness I didn't work with this guy for long.  Any who, looking back I recognized that I was angry, a lot, and for no reason.  After I started to notice this, I remember when I would get angry, I would ask myself, "why am I so angry?"  Right in the middle of the anger and then I would talk myself out of the anger.  I would say, "you are getting angry for no reason, Elizabeth."  After doing that for a while, every time I got angry, the anger went away.  Sure, I still got angry, sometimes, but not the kind that was ridiculous, lol.

If you have an anger problem know two things, know that it is not okay and know that you can eliminate it.

Say to yourself, "Anger is not okay and I don't get angry."  I know, it sounds silly, but it will work.

It's just a reminder, to remind you, that it's not okay and you don't get angry anymore.

There's more!

When you are angry, see if you can just observe the anger, right when you are in the middle of it.  Just observe it, be the observer, and don't judge it or label it or beat yourself up for it.

Then you can do what I did and talk yourself out of it, or you can do something even funnier.  You can start to sing a song, a funny song, like a rap or something.  This will work, I promise, it will make you laugh and you will eliminate the stressful habit of anger and replace it with the successful practice of laughter.

You gotta love it!  You gotta love the playfulness in that, don't you?

Well, have a great week and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Love ya...

Elizabeth

STRESSFUL EMOTIONAL HABITS

When we think of habits we think of food, cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. We can also add caffeine, shopping, and sex to that list. These are obvious habits that we are well aware of and know the consequences if we continue.

Another habit that may be evaluated is our emotions. When we are presented with a stressful situation it may be a habit to feel fear or worry.

Some people may even react to stressful situations with anger, frustration, or irritability. These emotions are the cause of our stress. For example, when we are working on the car or working on the house and the job gets difficult we may get angry, frustrated, or irritable. Sound familiar? This is a habit that we have of reacting to certain situations and it is the source of our stress.

Another example may be, when we have something big that breaks down like a car, washer or dryer, air conditioner, or a water heater and we don't have the money to pay for it we may feel fear or worry. This is another habit that we may have of reacting to circumstances that is the culprit of our stress.

When we become aware of our habitual reactions of our emotions we can take responsibility and change these habits for the better. If we get angry or irritable often, we may have created habits of anger and irritability, which can be changed through education.

Awareness is the number one key. If we are aware of these negative emotional reactions we can take responsibility and change these emotions to the opposite.

We can change anger, frustration, or irritability to patience and tolerance.

We can change doubt, fear, and worry to confidence, security, and hope.

It is not necessary to get angry, frustrated, or irritable. It is not necessary to have doubt, fear, or worry. We can take control of our reactions.

Sounds simple but is not necessarily easy. The hard part is the 20, 30, 40, or more years of the tendency to react this way.

What can we do to destress our negative habits of reacting?

The first key is awareness. Like an addict we cannot get help unless we think we need help.

The next step is to talk to a professional or read a book on anger or stress, bibliotherapy is one of the best ways to change.

Another great way of being aware of our emotions is being aware of our thoughts because it is the thought that we are having that causes our feelings.

And finally, never ending goal setting of changing our habits. If we want to change behavior that we have had for years it may take some time and hard work. Never ending goal setting is the way to move forward. If we don't move forward we are stagnant, if we are stagnant our problems get bigger, if our problems get bigger that causes an increase in our stress.

If you get angry, frustrated, or irritable frequently, or even once in a while, you are creating great stress on yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  Make it a goal to stop your negative emotions and replace them with positive one's like calmness, happiness, satisfaction, and even temperedness (I think I just made a word).

You can discover your stressful habits by destressing yourself. When you destress yourself you learn to change your stressful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes to more successful thoughts, feelings, actions, and attitudes, which means changing stressful habits into successful practices.

Any questions???  Comment below, or email me, elizabethstanfill@gmail.com.

Have a super duper week, and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

Elizabeth