HOW TO DESTRESS YOUR KID

Hey there.  How's things?  It's been over two weeks since my last post and I miss you ;)  I was away from the puter because my Daddy had surgery and I was hangin' with him and Mommy ;)  They live about 100 miles from me. 

 

Any who, as I spend time with them my mind goes back to growing up and of course, I think about all the stress that was there, only because I am lil Miss Destress Yourself.  Their behavior is still the same but I receive it differently now, and so, NO STRESS.

 

When I initially went to college, my goal was to be a child Psychologist but that dream was killed by my crazy idea that when a kid is messed up, it's ALWAYS the parent's fault.  I still kind of believe it.

 

Why do I believe that if the kid is messed up, it's the parent's fault?  Well, as parents, we are suppose to be smarter than our kids but we do this stupid thing that is totally insane.  We try to change unwanted behavior with the same method when it doesn't work.  Please allow me to esplain...  When a kid is getting bad grades, we punish by grounding him or her, and then the grounding doesn't work, the child still get's bad grades over and over again.  And then we use the same method, grounding, over and over again.  Don't you think that is insane?

 

"Hey you are not doing what I think you should so I will take privileges from you."  What is wrong with this?  The result is that the child thinks, "I am not good enough, so I get things taken away."  And every time we do this, the child increases their belief that they are not good enough, hence the low self-confidence in our society.

 

Disagree?  Good, comment below ;)

 

For some crazy reason, parent's tend to focus on what kids don't do right, all the time.  "Hey, don't do that."  "Hey, you should do it this way."

 

I know a man who loves, loves, loves my son as his own (not my significant other, just a friend of my son) and he wishes that my son were his son and/or that his son was like my son.  The only thing I see here is that this man looks at all the things his son does wrong and what he doesn't do right.  That is what he is focusing on.

 

Does he have some deep seeded belief that he ought to focus on what's wrong with his son or what his son is not doing right (right, meaning what's right according to him)?  YES!  It is pretty common in our society.

 

If, this man, were to focus only on the things his son does right, and love him, the way he loves my son, he would have the son that he thinks he should have, like my son. 

 

I know, I know, I am rambling.  But the point is, your son, or daughter, does not have to be like someone else, WE, as parents need to just love them, no matter what, and focus on all the things they do right, all the time, everyday. 

 

ALL DAY LONG FOCUS ON WHAT YOUR KID DOES RIGHT!!! 

 

Try this, for one day, and do not see anything they do wrong.  Matter of fact, just ignore, and giggle inside over, all the things YOU THINK, they do wrong.  And then just see all the things they do right.  See everything they do as right.  Can you do it?  For just one day? 

 

If you can do it, everyday, you will destress your kid, and yourself.  Trust me, I know!!!  Better yet!  Don't trust me, and try it for yourself. 

 

If we do this as parents, everyday, our kids would be perfect!  The only imperfection they have is in our mind anyway. 

 

NEWS FLASH!!!  EVERYONE IS IMPERFECT!  Enjoy that imperfection and just know that it is all a part of life.  Life is imperfect until you see it as perfect.

 

That's all I got ;)

 

Have a magnificent week!

 

And don't forget to have fun!!!

 

Be playful!!!

 

Elizabeth  

 

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elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

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:D

LEARNING TO DESTRESS!!!

Hey!  Hi!  Happy Monday!  I love Mondays!  Actually, I love every days!

 

I am so happy you are here.  You are here because you are learning to destress yourself, or just because you like me ;) 

 

So, did you notice if you are or when you are in a hurry?  Did you notice if it is a habit of yours?  Did you slow down?  Dang, I was totally in a hurry the next day after I wrote the post, CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN?  I was thinking to myself, if my blog readers could see me now they would definitely remind me of my own words.  I did catch myself and I did slow down, he he he.

 

Sooo, let's talk!

 

What in the heck does it mean to destress yourself?

 

Many of you have heard me explain this before, over and over again, and here we go again, lol.

 

When you destress yourself you evolve your mind, your thoughts, your behavior, your attitude, and your actions so that you live with confidence, faith, and security. 

 

Confidence in yourself, life, and others. 

 

Faith that all things are working for you and that your life is perfect as it is. 

 

Security knowing that anything you go through, no matter what, you can handle it.

 

If we listed the opposite of all these points it would look like this

 

Doubt in yourself, life, and others.

 

Fear that all things are working against you and that your life is the worst.

 

Worry that whatever you go through, no matter what, you cannot handle it.

 

All of this creates stress.  This thought process is what stress is. 

 

You have a choice really!  You can think thoughts of stress or you can destress yourself.

 

The thing is, this stressful way of thinking has been ingrained in you for however long you have been living.

 

Learn how to destress yourself by choosing the way of confidence, faith, and security.  You don't have to have doubt, fear, or worry.  They are just thoughts you know?

 

Learning to destress yourself is so important because it will create happiness, energy, and vitality for you.

 

Learning to destress yourself is so important because it will eliminate unhealthy emotional, mental, and physical conditions.

 

Try my audio, How To Destress Yourself, so that you can live with happiness, energy, and vitality. 

 

But PLEASE, don't believe me, find out for yourself.

 

Have a great weekend and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

 

Speak soon...

 

Elizabeth

 

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS STRESS???

Hello there my friend.  How are you this wonderful winter day?  I must say, I am very happy and grateful!!!

Last night, I attended a Christmas Program, which was MAGNIFIQUE!!!  Any who, I was talking to a lady who, you guessed it, is really stressed out.  She is currently going through her second wedding (for her second daughter) this year. 

Sooo, I told her that there was no such thing as stress, only stressful thoughts.  She didn't get it.  Do you get it?  Do you get that there is no such thing as stress, only stressful thoughts? 

When we feel stressed it is from our thoughts of thinking that we can't handle it.  Stress is from our thohttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=6613359141845270284ughts of worry.  What is this woman's stress?  She is overwhelmed by a busy schedule, as well as work, and her other children.  So, she is worried.  She is worried that she can't handle it, and that everything won't be perfect unless she get's everything done that she needs to get done.  Hence, her stressful thoughts.

Whenever I talk to someone who is stressed, I know that they are worried about something.  There is no reason to worry.  Worry is just a habit, a habitual way of thinking.  People worry about what they don't have, they worry about how to get what they want or don't have, they worry about what others' think, and/or they worry about if they can handle IT, whatever IT is.  IT can be finances, relationships, health, weight, an overwhelming schedule, a child that is not good enough, and/or work.

What are you worried about?  "Oh Elizabeth, I'm not worried about anything."  Oh reeeeeeally???  I know that I can have a conversation with you and within 5 minutes or so, you will say what you are worried about.  Are you worried about the future?  Are you worried about the past, or yesterday?  Are you worried about money?  Are you worried that you will never find Mr/Mrs Right?  Are you worried that your boss doesn't treat you well?  Are you worried about Christmas? 

Well, whatever it is you are worried about, this is what I want you to know. 

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU CAN HANDLE IT!
Everyone, including me, has had some serious shizzz happen and we made it through whatever rough time there was and you will make it through this. 

RELEASE YOUR WORRY!
This is a lot easier said than done but, stay in this moment, stay right here, right now, with whoever you are with, or where ever you are at, and enjoy yourself.  If you are unable to enjoy yourself, then you have a habit to learn.  Enjoying yourself is just a habit, a habitual way of thinking, just like worrying.  One of the best things anyone can do is replace the habit of worry with the habit of enjoying yourself. 

If you know me, you know it is possible!!!

Destress Yourself with an affirmation.  Whenever you feel overwhelmed, or stressed, say to yourself, "I can handle this, I can handle anything, and I can be, do, have anything I set my heart and mind to."

YOU GOT THE POWER!!!

Have a great day and don't forget to have fun and be playful.

I LOVE YOU!!!  I REALLY DO!!!

Elizabeth